Clifford Investigates

Snooty

2010-02-12T03:41:00.000-08:00

A badger has been defiled by a shrew, a baby is born with no nostril hair, some fella is campaigning to change letter boxes to blue.... these seem to be the top stories on days like today.

The tension in the office is rigid as everyone is trying to motivate themselves to find a story, when the best lead of the day is that the blood van is in town.

GV's (general views) of every site and sound in the patch... done. Back-up, mark-up, clean-up and even scrub-up of mugs in the kitchen... done.

So I am spending some time playing with lights, using a bit of toilet roll and selotape to create some different effects. This probably bores most of you so I will not go into graphic detail, yet I have made a "snoot" from leftovers from the rubbish bin.

Basically it gives you greater control over the direction and consentration of light and looks like this:Trying to improve my flash lighting and this was just a bit of tangent I went on. Thought I would share some of the outcomes from my first snooting experience, so here you go:

Stakeouts and takedowns

2010-02-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

"Oi mate! Why don't you get a proper job you f**king scavanger!!", said a man wreaking of whisky at 2pm.

The compliments and gratitude for the press photographer's service to the public come flying in every day. Yet as I have progressed through many stakeouts, media scrums and court chases... I've managed to minimise these words of wisdom from my adoring general public.

I have not changed my scent, neither adorned my assailants with rose petals and buttercups. I have become Jack Bauer.

The art of being a sneeky git has come quite naturally to me, yet it should not be underestimated in the world of press photography.

I've squatted in a bush for 5 hours, sat in ally for 8 and even bargained my way into someones house who didnt want their photo taken.... then got my shot of them when they came back with a cup of tea for me.

Ruthless... perhaps. Necessary... absolutely. Perhaps I may be a "scumbag", "w**nker" or (my personal favourite) "paedophile". Yet I believe most people forget that these people I stakeout and chase are usually murderers, rapists or actually paedophiles themselves.

The art of the pap is severely underrated, yet I am not condoning all forms of this (shoot me the day I have to resort to up-skirt shots of Katie Price). All press photographers have to do a bit of papping at some time and this ultimately builds up skills for bigger breaking news shoots later.

You probably severely disagree and share the views of my whiskey laden comrade, yet do not underestimate what it takes to get a great pap shot... why don't you give it a go.

The Prince and I

2009-10-20T07:27:00.001-07:00

"The first rule of being a photographer... be there", was ranted to me by a picture editor in Newcastle. On this particular day it resonated loudly, as I dragged my arse to a royal visit where Prince Edward was going to be shaking hands with primary school children and old people who like buses.

I get there.... just in time. Prince Edward greats a crowd of 5-year-old local school children who obviously don't have a clue who he is but have been forced to wave their cute little Union Jack flags and treat him like.... well frankly royalty.

"Oh what a charming bus!"

"I wish I had a garge like that, even Balmoral can't compete with this!"

- Just a couple examples of the cheesy dissintry spilling from the prince's mouth. God this is dry.

But I keep on perservering and before you know it, 3 hours following a prince that I hate around a transport museum in the middle of Scotland pays off.

The other photographers are loosing the will to live, but I reminded myself of the slim chance that he could do something stupid. Before you know it a Dalek. Whhheyyyy! But he is still being deathly boring... until he goes to walk away from it, gives it once last glimpse....

It gets in The Sun, The Times, The Mirror, The Express and Daily Mail. Plus it even warranted appearing on this....

It may seem like I'm blowing my own bugle.... and I am a bit. However this was a huge 101 in press photography. No matter how arrid and unfruitful a story seems... there is always a way to squeeze something out. Unless its with Alex Salmond... he's just a twat.

Hold tight....

2009-10-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

All new 'Clifford Investigates' launching very soon. Will be a lot more interesting than was before!